I am losing my war with running

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rocky-1024x812Apparently, every other Monday is running day at bootcamp. Had I known this, I might have played hooky today…in the way that I always “conveniently” managed to be in the nurse’s office when our physics teacher gave a pop quiz.

Here’s the problem with running. It doesn’t work unless you have three good things: A good running bra, a pair of good running shoes and a good playlist. My running bra is six years old, my running shoes are two years old and my playlist is non existent. I don’t know ‘what the kids listen to these days’ and I’m not quite sure I’d find Jay-Z inspiring. Although it’s fairly inspiring that I even know who Jay-Z is.

When I used to run….back in the days of the good sports bra, the good running shoes and the decent playlist, I listened to… wait for it as I am truly dating myself: Highway to the Danger Zone from Top Gun, I Need a Hero from Footloose, Eye of the Tiger from the Rocky III training montage and Hearts on Fire from the Rocky IV training montage.

Yes, I was a Rocky obsessed soundtrack slut.

My entire music collection was from 1980’s movies: Footloose, Flashdance, Fame, Top Gun, The Lost Boys, The Big Chill, Pretty in Pink, Dirty Dancing…and, of course, Rocky’s 3 & 4. I still want to be Maverick feeling the need for speed. I would love to be Rocky racing Apollo Creed on the beach or facing a dope injected Dolph Lundgren in the tundra; instead, I’m just a terribly out of shape ex-jock with a bad bra who can barely run a timed mile without puking.

My trainer, who may be the coolest chick on the planet since Jillian Michaels, said it’s all about a good playlist. So, even though my playlist dates back to 1983, I’m going to attempt to follow her advice. Look, I have no desire to be a runner, it is not in my wheelhouse; however, I do want to be strong and in shape and healthy…and if running happens to be one of those unbelievably annoying means to that end…I suppose I should give it a chance and not have such a terrible attitude about it and absolutely everything on this planet it represents. Hmmm….hard to keep my bitterness from seeping through on this one. Still, I’m downloading my four songs and I’ll see where that takes me.  I’m not planning to run a marathon (mainly because I don’t know how to train without eating my daily box of macaroni and cheese…and, APPARENTLY, that’s not on my prescribed eating allowance) My goal is simply to  get my mile down from its embarrassing double digits.

So, really, I just need 7:30 to 9:30 worth of music, depending on how seriously I take my need for speed. And my new super duper eighties playlist has twelve minutes of suitably dated music.

I wonder what Jay-Z listens to when he runs…

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Showing 3 comments
  • Christian Kennedy

    Good running bra a must. Good running shoes a major must!! On the playlist front, and this is a strange thing to say as a musician, I can’t stand listening to music when I run. Maybe it is because I am plugged in all day, every day, and I find something wonderfully grounding (yes, my Taurus is showing) about being out and active with good ole’ Mother Nature. Amazed at your progress and believe it or not hearing how much you think running sucks actually makes me want to run. So, you are motivational on top of all it! Hmmm. Now if I could only find my running shoes. 🙂

  • Michael J. Cahill

    Along the lines of finding a suitable running soundtrack, might I recommend a playlist that includes things that make you want to run like hell. For example, a recording of Gilbert Gotfreid trying to seduce you or the sounds of rabid pit bulls chasing you down. I wouldn’t stop running for hours if I had those going on in my head. As for the running bra, I can only think of relying on the assistance of a tall walker with big inflated wheels. Now that I think of it, these don’t really sound that helpful at all. Forget I mentioned it. But I do like the macaroni and cheese training.

  • Amy

    A couple other motivators for me: Hakuna Matata, I Just Can’t Wait to Be King, and all sorts of embarrassing songs from other musicals I know you know – i.e., I Can Do That, Tits and Ass and…Today for You, Tomorrow for Me. And…It’s a Hard Knock Life (from Annie AND the hip hop remix) works, too! Big hugs.

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